Off and Away

Catch the spirit of FRANC.
Get Diamonelle's Lohengrin look exclusively from FRANC Bridal.

Or at least have a Happy Holiday!

I couldn't get Pansi's tree to work, but if the spirit moves you, go here, scroll ALL the way down to "Are Tree 2009," and try to leave her a (virtual) present.

Ask High Priestess Julia: Captism & Baptism

Dare to be FRANC. [Irrelevant ad campaign for Franc's line.]

Tom & Icy write, "I wonder if Captist cats practice water immersion baptism."

CHRISTOPHER forbid! But this issue is divisive among Captists. The Haireticks of all species styling themselves "Venusian Captists" believe, like Earth Muslims, that frequent washing of bits of their bodies, coupled with very brief, contemplative cat naps and/or prayer, is sufficient to cleanse the Captist Soul. We true, Litteral Captists view this pseudo-religious practice as no more than a lick and a promise!
To be truly cleansed it is necessary for an annointed Cat or Captist Priest to administer a THOROUGH rub-down with a tongue or rough washcloth to the penitent (of any species), who has previously rolled in dust or sand. To complete the ritual, the penitent should climb a fence or tree or go out onto the roof, if convenient, and confess all his sins and unfulfilled longings loudly for hours on end, after dark if possible. Only so can one receive the true Blessing of CHRISTOPHER. Those who are pelted (or lapidated) by Unbelievers during their confession are supremely blessed.

Doug asks whether Captists say "Amen" or "Meow."
The Truly Blessed, among whom I count Myself, simply fall asleep, Doug.

May CHRISTOPHER bless all True Believers with a full food bowl and a clean Litter Box!
Unbelievers: Beware of Fleas!
High Priestess Julia!

Ask Anastasia: Captist Magic?

Diamonelle works her own, special kind of magic.
Originally uploaded by weirsdo

When Hobbes was writing about Doll Baby's books, Mrs. Weirsdo said the biggest was a Litteral Captist Bible, and the second biggest a Captist Bible. Mr. Duffy then speculated one might be "a lexicon of magic words from the Capitist League of Arcane Arts?"

Mr. Duffy, it makes me sad that anyone could ever think such a thing, even for a moment. Both the Litteral and Venusian branches of the Captist faith are at the farthest POSsible remove from any taint of magic, superstition, or anything of that nature! Captism is all about the Holy Love of CHRISTOPHER, and the importance of staying clean, well fed, and well rested, of course. Contrary to the assertions of unfortunate Haireticks, our Littergies are not mere scrapings and caterwauling, but a sacred conjuring of His holy presence, that it may warm, nourish and caress all our lives, in Scarface's name!
I earnestly pray that you too may one day experience the healing touch of CHRISTOPHER'S Paw and have the door opened to the delights of Captist Heaven hereafter.

Your sister in Captism,
Anastasia

Ask Weirsdo: St. Peter the Captist

Though not a Captist, Diamonelle is sympathetic to their cause.

RBUD liked the print of St. Peter the Captist.
That's actually by my Cousin T., the one who sent me some jokes a while back. Her father was my grandfather's brother (the geologist grandfather, not the minister). This actually does not look exactly like Peter, but I think she approximated after they visited. Peter was a great cat because he only liked me, even though my parents fed him. He followed me everywhere and waited for me to get home from school every day. He liked to get up on my chest and rub his face against mine. He used to get so excited he forgot to swallow and drooled a bit. He had been starved as a kitten and consequently ate a lot, ending up looking pretty roly-poly, with little stubby legs. He would try anything I ate or drank, including apricot juice, and he sometimes got his face stuck in almost empty yogurt cartons Unfortunately he was hit by a car and killed while I was at music camp when I was 14.

Ask Hobbes: Stuffed Animal Genetics

Diamonelle has a top-of-the-line gene pool, as well as a top-of-the-line swimming pool.

Dr. Schitz, of the Netherworld, writes,

As a top line genetic specialist, I find myself a bit concerned about the fact that the product of a union between two bears seems strangely human, given the fact that they never came to me for DNA manipulation.

From time to time, Dr. Schitz, we have noted various irregularities in the life cycle of stuffed animals. First, you may recall that, unless utterly destroyed, for instance by falling into an active volcano or being chopped up and strewn about the Pansitown Road for dinosaurs to eat, stuffed bears can come back to life. Second, you may recall that Anastasia and Pooh's child, little O, is a stuffed owl. There is, in fact, nothing unusual about stuffed animals producing a child who is another species of animal, or a doll. Although some Captist families pride themselves on the "purity" of their stuffing, and although Annie claimed to Pooh that she could give him a real bear cub, the truth is that all have intermingled so much there is just no telling what will come out.
What is intriguing about my grandchild is her growth! Normally, dolls just stay the same, but you will notice that this little one changed dramatically from her newborn self to her four-year-old self! Stuffed Animal Planet scientists desperately want to study this phenomenon, but Hobbes Jr. is very protective of his daughter and so far has not allowed it. We'll keep you posted, should we make any further discoveries.

Ask Weirsdo: Our Bud Doug

Diamonelle calls Doug "RBUD," too.

Ariel writes, "Weirsdo, you call Pascover RBUD, what is that for? He could not tell!"

A while back when I was posting about the location of my relatives, RBUD speculated that we might be related. We concluded that we probably are not, but that Doug could assume the honorary title of "Rogue Blog Uncle Doug," RBUD for short. It is better than "Mr. Dog," which is what Pansi calls him.

Maternal Bragging: Mall Diva

Diamonelle respects other divas.

Both Ariel and Tom have been very complimentary about Mall Diva's photography.
Thank you, and yes, it is difficult to do, as I discovered when I tried to take some pictures of toys. With very small things it is easy to lose focus; one has to have a very steady hand.
Dr. Weirsdo and I are both amazed at how many things Mall Diva is very good at. She recently took the SAT, and her scores, are well above what she needs to get into Nearby State University. She is not overly enthused with "book learning," but can do it, and does sometimes get interested in reading if it's not assigned. She is an excellent pianist and violinist, has never gone to a lesson unprepared, and has won state competitions in one instrument or the other every year since she was 11. She also has a hefty bank account for a 15-year-old, since she has been working from age 8 playing gigs, and she now teaches 16 students.
And only this evening she spelled out the name of her current crush in green beans on her mashed potatoes, then photographed it with her cell phone. I was so proud.
Mrs. Weirsdo